Niger-Area, Nigeria and Naija.

By Tahir Ibrahim Tahir Talban Bauchi.

The colonial masters put together or superintended over the amalgamation of different protectorates that made up our country; with a generally agreed set of terms for a union, that spelt out power formulae, including resource sharing and all other forms of engagement and co-existence as a federation. The students and offspring of that time, enjoyed a country that was not only prosperous and purposeful, but had a juicy and promising future as the giant of Africa, and the greatest black nation in the world. Everyone had a job or a business and school and learning were paid for, and welfare packages were in place; with students living a lavish life in dormitories, eating Sardines for breakfast! Before they graduated, they had a job, a car, and a fully air-conditioned house’s keys, awaiting their convocation ceremonies. As students they had allowances, as employees they had salaries, allowances, packages, pensions and gratuities in visuals and not just in audio of nowadays. It was really rosy for them.

Nigerians are the set that have been opportuned to lead the country and they somehow blew it. They have miraculously been unable to bequeath to their heirs, the legacy that was handed to them. They are the civil servants that collect salaries without going to work, collect salaries of ghost workers, award contracts to their own companies, inflate them and duplicate them every year; with the same line of charge or budgetary item repeated yearly. They are the politicians that do not sponsor bills, and eat up the covid19 relief funds and packages, and make the Naijans tear down tractors into pieces and eat them up! They are the blackmaketers of petroleum products that will pour kerosene and H20 into petrol. They are the ones that will hoard cheap fuel and sell at exorbitant prices as global oil prices rise. They kill and eat policemen. They kill, kill and incite people to kill as long as they make money or have their fancies tickled, or their vexations flexed. They are the ones that produce babies with reckless abandon and throw them to the streets as Almajiris. They are the ones that sell babies after stealing them. They start religious wars and movements without knowing a single verse offhand. (I had to check ‘offhand otherwise I would have used offhead, afterall I belong to the primae-set, ‘Nigerians’). Nigerians are plenty. Very very plenty. They are the ones that pray for the covid era not to end so they can buy more private jets. They are the ones that share the same religion but cannot worship God under the same roof. They are ones that use worship and places of worship, to defraud their fellow Nigerians. They are the bankers that devour the accounts of deceased customers, and they are the journalists that celebrate the wins of terrorists and mute Government’s victory over the insurgents and bandits. They are the ones that call out Mr. Preaident all the time but dare not call out their own state governors– sometimes out of fear, sometimes from sheer hypocrisy.

Naijans are the most feeble and pitiful lot who are mobilised to wreck mayhem without even knowing why. They are the poorly educated and bereft of commonsense, honesty and civility. They do not know what integrity means and therefore, cannot even assume it, practice or idolise it. They are the online scammers, baby mamas, and yahoo hammers! They are the fake news merchants and the recruits of banditry and terrorism. They do not believe in religion but fight for their region, with the assumption that their region’s leaders are not to blame; but that the center’s leaders’ are all to blame. They are the ones that want Nigerians to be slammed with visa bans and call on foreign super powers to take over the country and return us to colonial rule or interim dictatorships. They are the group that cannot wait 800 days for a new election and would rather remove their leadership by hook or crook, through big brother like parties and road shows. To them, life is a musical road show, and and as such, our heads should keep banging and ringing all the time. They are the tattoo generation who feel that once they tattoo you on their skin, you have automatically become responsible for them.

Today, Niger-areans, Nigerians and Naijans are locked up together in a survival of the fittest, in a feast, with a dwindling menu, where table manners and culinary tips are scarce and almost absent. There are the good ones from the different groups and strata, and there are the bad ones. There are the religious ones and there are devilish ones. There are useful ones and there are useless ones. There are productive ones and there are useless ones. There are patriotic ones and their are separatists and terrorists, irredentists and insurrectionists. There are rogues and robbers in robes; clowning as leaders and revolutionists whose eyes are firmly on the feast table, rolling their eyes but never letting their crooked eyeballs lose sight of the cake and the cake minders– in this final feast of existence. The new line of action where the newly decorated and commissioned service chiefs have been given the lifeline of a 100% backing from Mr. President, to carry out the task of securing our country– where service personnel and civilians, are in a special operation of terrorism and banditry– is a very welcome development. We pray that they are able to deliver within a few weeks as specified by PMB. The Chief of Defence has said that Nigerians deserve to be safe in their country and therefore the status quo will not be tolerated and must change. Whether he is Igbo or not, Southern or Northern, he is in charge of our officers and other services as commander of defence, and we must wish him well and pray that by God he succeeds. 

Tahir is Talban Bauchi.

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